Dancing with The Trainer

 One of the reality shows that has become a phenomenon is Dancing With the Stars. Versions of it are made worldwide in 47 different countries. I guess what I like about it is that I can see these celebrities grow and learn as they work with a pro.

The athletes and entertainers seem to have an advantage over the reality stars or newscasters. Those reality stars have a tough go of it. They have become “stars” by having little to no talent or direction, and they often seem confused when faced with the challenge of the task. When I started my journey, it was as a reality star. I felt I could do this but had no idea about the effort it would take. I didn’t want to face the fact that I had little to no skill and that I had let my defenses trick me into believing I was okay with the physical and mental pain I was living with.

As my journey has progressed, I can relate to the entertainer. I know what it is like to put on a show. I work real hard and things come together. Sometimes I have a tantrum because not everyone sees my brilliance or I don’t see it. I had a tantrum last week. I received lots of compliments about how I looked, so I really felt like I was doing a great job; like a star, my ego was stroked. Then I went to the store to look for clothes. I know better than this, but I let the size on the jacket I was eyeing dictate my worth. And it seemed as if I hadn’t accomplished anything. I also realized that I’m tired, and I still have a long way to go. I felt like giving up, but the show must go on. One thing the entertainers know is that they are going to be tired. They also know how to take direction and criticism (whether it comes from a trainer or themselves) Like a star, I know that this show still needs more work.

It seems obvious that the athletes have an edge on this show. They know what it takes to train to achieve a goal, and they understand the relationship they have with the coach. The hardest part for them is often the showmanship, but that’s where their coach comes in. The big thing that they know that I am coming to realize is that this journey is never ending. Each week there’s a “game” to play. Each week, they get ready for the next game. Their work is not done on Tuesday after the show. They are back working that very night. They look to their coach for guidance but they also know that they have work to do.

 In a way, I have a new respect for that relationship. I can, of course, relate to someone like Kirstie Alley. She too is a big girl who wants to succeed and will use humor to keep going. Her partner is Maks, who has been pinned as a hard and harsh trainer. He doesn’t mince words and sometimes comes off as unfeeling. Many a tear and tantrum have occurred under his tutelage. Patrick is more like Tony: a nice guy who knows his stuff. Sometimes I feel sorry that Tony has not gone far with his partners. He gets the old ones or the pretty ones, but he doesn’t get the Olympians or the sharp entertainers. This season, Tony has a great partner, and I hope to see them week after week.

Working with Patrick has helped me understand the relationship these stars have with their pro. Here’s someone who wants me to do well. He will modify my workouts to accommodate my issues, but will push me harder than I thought I’d ever go and certainly harder than I would do on my own. Like the stars, I have my tantrums, but I also have my moments of great personal gain. When I get on the scale week after week, and the numbers keep going down, it’s like getting a 10 from Len. When they go up, it’s like when Carrie Ann gives that little smile with the tilt of the head to deliver the bad news. When I accomplish a new task – one that I never thought I’d do, it’s like when Bruno gets out of his seat with his hands flailing and spewing metaphors. It’s a great moment.