Speedbumps

One town we lived in had an old sandstone quarry that the city had taken over and developed as a recreational area. We loved to take the girls there in the summer to play in the sand and splash in the water. Leona’s first swim lessons were in that cold-cold water. It was a tucked away haven in our Midwestern town. Our construction neighbor, Gary, was contracted by the city to make speed bumps on the road into the quarry. Apparently being secluded was a challenge to teens who would speed on the narrow approach. I remember the first time I encountered one of Gary’s bumps. Yikes. They were more like tree trunks lying across the road. I didn’t only have to slow down; I practically had to stop to maneuver my car over the obstacle. Traveling over one of these too fast and one would risk all sorts of lower car body damage.

Well, the same can be said about the speed bumps I’ve encountered on this journey. One speed bump I faced early on was pain. I was used to the joint pain caused by the results of being overweight. I was not used to muscle, tendon, and ligament pain. I’ve had to learn to treat these issues and accept one that is particularly nasty and prevents me from running. One speed bump is cheating. I really don’t like to use that word; I prefer to call it unplanned eating. However, if I look at it from a results point of view, I am cheating. I cheat myself out of the experience of saying no and strengthening my ability to do so. I also cheat myself out of the numbers I want to see on the scale. Another speed bump is my attitude. Oh yeah- it is part and parcel of this experience. It drives my will, my outlook, and my self-esteem. When those are firing on all cylinders, I feel unstoppable, but every once in a while one is out of step, and I crash into a speed bump.

You see, the speed bumps are necessary. It’s important not to rush this process. If done too easily or quickly, then I’ve cheated myself out of essential lessons and challenges that will carry me forward long after the weight is off. The speed bumps have changed over this journey. At first I had to decide to be open to doing new things. Next I had to adjust to a different kind of diet. I started to gain momentum and got over confident and deviated from my eating. Guess what? Thwump! I crashed right into one of Gary’s speed bumps. When January hit, I really bottomed out. I felt good because I stayed on track over the holidays – a little too good. I wanted momentum to carry me forward through the grey days of winter. These have always been a struggle for me and food has been a comfort to me. I hit a plateau where I really had to analyze what and why I’d changed my approach to this whole process.

Honor the process. Will I say, “Embrace the speed bump?” I don’t know. We’d have to go lay in the street to do so, and that’s probably going too far, but I recently learned that, in the bible, the word “humble” does not refer to a groveling worm, but someone who is teachable. The speed bumps certainly humble me, and I learn from them because they get my attention. Until there’s another way to get my attention, I guess I need to accept the speed bumps in this process.