Don't Judge a Personal Trainer by his Smile

What’s it like having a personal trainer? It’s not like having a housecleaner or getting my nails done. In those relationships, they provide a service, and they see or hear about the things I might hide to the rest of the world, but it’s different. I think, at first, I thought it would be like that. I thought he’d come, we’d work out, we’d dish a little, we’d set goals and move on. I knew from day one it would be different.

I have several levels of workouts. The first one is where I do nothing and think about doing something. This is the I Really Should Start Working Out workout. I did this one for years and shared this activity with many friends including Jonathan. My friend Julie calls this porching which is especially fun to do in the summer. I don’t need much equipment or a special wardrobe. Usually a sofa, a cool drink and a book are all I need to do this. I can even do it barefoot.

My next level of workout is the I Will Do Something Three Times a Week workout. This always starts with good intentions. The first thing I need to do is find the time. Unfortunately this often conflicts with porching, but it’s a sacrifice I can make. This one usually involves walking the dogs, or spending down time walking around the college where I work. It can also involve my getting on an elliptical machine. I need to plan for this and have appropriate shoes, comfortable clothes, and fit it in around a shower. It takes more planning, but it is one that I have done from time to time, but have never really committed to.

A level up from the last workout is the I Will Take a Cardio Class Two Times a Week workout. This is about where I was when I met Patrick. Of course, I need to be a member of some fitness center that has classes. What I need for this is shoes, appropriate clothing, and a very specific time commitment because I have to do this when the class is offered. This is how I stumbled upon kettlebell. I love those workouts, but if it conflicts with work, I can’t go. This also involves certain vulnerability. Because I’m obese, I can’t do all the moves that others in the class can do. I modify virtually everything. I don’t jump or run, I struggle with balance, and I am awkward at lots of things. For many, these reasons alone keep them out of the gym. I fully understand this, but here’s the thing, When you find teachers who know how to modify for your limitations and realize that everyone in that room has limitations of some kind, it’s not about what they think of me, but of what I think of me, and as long as I’m trying, I’m succeeding.  My oldest daughter, Leona, has shared with me that, when she works out and sees a large person doing her best, it’s an inspiration. Sometimes it drives her harder, sometimes, she feels less  (fill in the negative self-worth comment here). Either way, I have come to realize that those in that room all want to succeed at their own levels and I feel confident in saying that we’re all working out for ourselves and not the other people in the room.

The next level before I get to the personal training workout is an addition to the previous one. This is where I add two or more workouts so that I’m deliberately active 5-6 days a week. To me, this has always worked at getting my weight under control (along with deliberate, sensible eating), but I’ve been curious about what a personal trainer would be like. I thought it would be like the classes where I modify within my comfort zone and we customize to my specific needs. Well – it is and it isn’t.

One of the first things that Patrick asked me was how much I intended to work out? Since I was going to see him twice a week, I thought that one more serious cardio workout and two small workouts would be good. Well, no. He didn’t exactly laugh, but he said that he wanted me working out for an hour each day, 7 days a week. This was my first indication that this would be different than I expected. Then of course, he wanted to see what I ate. He’s a fan of The Biggest Looser. I think I’ve mentioned before that he follows Bob Harper’ advice given in his book, The Skinny Rules. This part wasn’t too hard for me as I’m already a convert to, what I call “clean eating.” This involves little to no preservatives, organic food when possible and cooking fresh. Well in addition to that, Patrick has some very firm ideas. Anything he doesn’t approve of is labeled, “The Devil.” Potatoes, pizza, and pancakes are “the devil,” and I am not supposed to eat carbs after lunch. I can pretty much do this, but I draw the line at eating a hamburger with a lettuce bun. I don’t care what you call it, a slice of lettuce is not a bun.

One thing I love and hate about working with Patrick is that he cuts me no slack. When I told him about my strategy for eating at a 4^th of July picnic and how it was a different way than I have done before (which involves no strategy – just a justification that it’s only one day) but this time, I would pace myself and take only one small portion of potato salad and only one turkey burger on a whole wheat bun, he did not praise my efforts. He preached about “devil food” and how I can’t be eating that right now. When I shared with him my success at holding a plank for a minute and that I tried to do a plank on my toes and was able to hold it for 40 seconds, his response was that I should aim for 3 minutes. Harsh – you say? Yes, I thought so too. I still do, but here’s the thing, he’s teaching me to offer no excuses and give no explanations. If I’m going to get the results I want, I have to expect him to push me towards them. While I might like a moment of praise for my efforts, I do like that he doesn’t let me stay there and explain away habits that need to change.

Another thing that Patrick is having me do is work harder than I do when left to my own devices. While I’m happy with walks, he wants me to run. I mean this both literally and metaphorically. I’m happy to use 5-pound weights –he has me on 12. I’m happy to work out 5X a week. He has me at 7. I’m happy to walk briskly, he has me jogging. I’m not happy being obese. I am happy watching the weight come off, feeling my clothing get too big, and having more energy to tackle other tasks.

If I want someone to whine at about sore muscles or brag to about my little victories, I have my porching buddies. Patrick is there to push me to where I never knew I could go.